“Over the years, an enormous amount of research has been done in an attempt to determine how a person’s performance on an IQ test…translates to real-life success…The relationship between success and IQ only works up to a point. Once someone has reached an IQ of somewhere around 120, having additional IQ points doesn’t seem to translate into any measurable real-world advantage.”

After listing where the last 25 Nobel Loreates in Chemistry and Medicine gradutate from college, it is clear that you don’t have to go to Harvard to be successful. “To be a Nobel Prize winner, apparently, you have to be smart enough to get into…college…That’s all….”

“In a devastating critique, the sociologist Pitirim Sorokin once showed that if Terman had simply put together a randomly selected group of children from the same kinds of family backgrounds as the Termites–and dispensed with IQs altogether–he would have ended up with a group doing almost as many impressive things as his painstakingly selected group of genisues. ‘By no stretch of the imagination or of standars of genius,’ Sorokin concluded, ‘is the ‘gifted group’ as a whole ‘gifted.’” By the time Terman came out with his fourth volume of Genetic Studies of Genius, the word ‘genius’ had all but vanished. ‘We have seen,’ Terman concluded, with more than a touch of disappointment, ‘that intellect and achievement are far from perfectly correlated.”

“You can have lots of analytical intelligence and very little practical intelligence, or lots of practical intelligence and not much analytical intelligence…so where does something like practical intelligence come from? We know where analytical intelligence comes from. It’s something, at least in part, that’s in your genes…But social savvy is knowledge. It’s a set of skills that have to be learned. It has to come from somewhere, and the place where we seem to get these kinds of attitudes and skills is from our families.”

“What was the difference between the As and the Cs? Terman ran through every conceivable explanation. He looked at their physical and mental health…he compared…what their precise IQ scores were in elementary and high school. In the end, only one thing mattered: family background. The As overwhelmingly came from…homes filled with books…etc…the Cs lacked…a community around them that prepared them properly for the world.”

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

Unnoticed Wonders

Dedicated to the small things we love, but never pay attention to

A brand new box of sharp, colorful crayons

The way the ocean feels on bare feet

A leaf’s delicate design

The taste of fresh, red apples

A puppy’s velvety ears

The smell of a new book

The wind blowing in your face

Splashing in puddles

The birds’ chirping

Roasting marshmallows

A sense of accomplishment

Laughter

Dessert

The way your hair floats around you when you’re underwater

Riding a roller coaster

Being told that you’re good at something

Catching your first fish

Swinging on a swing

Being with your friends

Dressing up

Getting a present

Doing a fun craft

Sitting by the fire

Watching lightning flash across the sky

Drinking cool lemonade on a hot July day

Imagining what it would feel like to fly

Playing an exciting game

 Staying up late

Watching a movie while eating popcorn

Jumping on the trampoline

Playing tag

I was asked to give her Euology:

believe, love, live

believe.

My Mom was proud of her English degree from Berkley. She would always tell me of the time that she got spit on while she was riding on the San Francisco trolly with her African American girlfriend, and the special privileges she got as an English major. Only the English majors were allowed to read the books in the locked cabinet in the library–catcher In the Rye and Chaucer books.

When it came time for me to decide between Berkley and Stanford the decision was made easy by Mom. “You are going to Stanford!” much to her surprise I came back a changeling as she sometimes would call me.

I believe-I remember exactly where I was standing in our house when I first broached the subject of faith with Mom. She said, “You didn’t become born again did you!” I simply told her that I discovered that there is a God who loves us and is all perfect and all loving who wants to be in relationship with us. It is like taking a test and I have taken a lot of tests. If God is perfect, then He gets 100% on the moral test of life, mother theresa gets on her best day 90%, and well I might get to 50%. The only way to be in an intimate relationship with a perfect, all Holy Being is to ace the moral test which no one can accept God. Solution: God came down in human form as Jesus to take the test for us. All we have to do is accept His gift and say I believe. The following day Mom said, “well, I prayed to accept Jesus into my heart, but nothing happened.” She didn’t like to talk about her faith much or mine for that matter. It was 15 years later when she showed up and sat in the back of the auditorium while I was teaching about the evidence of God from science and philosophy that we spoke again of faith. She said afterwards, “of course I have always known Christianity to be true and I wish that all the kids were here.” she ended a lot of her sentences that way.

She believed in Christ and she believed in all of us. When we were discouraged she would always be there to lift us up. When I had no friends and felt like the world was ending in 7th grade she said, “you have always been a good swimmer. Why don’t you join a swim team.” her belief in me and many of us changed the course of our lives.

She was an avid reader and she loved Langston Hughes poetry. She shared her favorite one with each of her kids….a poem of inspiration and of believing in us…

Well…I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So…don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps.
‘Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now—
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

love.

Prodigal son-there is an ancient story modernized by Brennan Manning…there was a bright young man….this is the love of God…unconditional, outrageous, crazy

Mom didn’t speak of her faith but she showed it through her unconditional love of me and my kids…an amazing and rare gift to give to all of our kids and those around us…

live on.

Grandma is so lucky! The night mom died I was trying to think of something to say when I tucked my oldest son in for bed…but before I could say anything..he said, “Grandma is SO lucky!”   We have been so lucky, so blessed to love her. But we must remember that she is the lucky one.

We think we live in disneyland let me tell u this is not disneyland…a friend of mine has told me the story of his sons first trip to Disneyland. They went through the gate and he saw all the flowers and just knew that he had made it into Disneyland, and when his dad tried to tell him that this wasn’t Disneyland he refused to budge. We think we r in Disneyland when in reality we r only at the entrance.

“follow the balloons”-when my sister was visiting with Mom in the hospital, and she told Mom that she was going to go down stairs to the cafeteria to get something to drink. Mom said, “just follow the balloons..” This is a time to celebrate because Grandma, Mom has followed the balloons pass the entrance and through the gates to the real Disneyland and she lives on…and she is SO lucky…and we will see her again…it is not good bye but see u later…release the balloon to know that mom is now finally at Disneyland…

Let us release these balloons, and remember the lessons she taught all of us…to believe and to love….

” ‘Right Is Right’ is about the difference between partially right and all-the-way
right – between pretty good and 100 percent. The job of the teacher is to set a
high standard for correctness: 100 percent. The likelihood is strong that students will stop striving when they hear the word right (or yes or some other proxy), so there’s a real risk to naming as right that which is not truly and completely right. When you sign off and tell a student she is right, she must not be betrayed into thinking she can do something that she cannot.

“Many teachers respond to almost-correct answers their students give in class
by rounding up. That is they’ll affirm the student’s answer and repeat it, adding some detail of their own to make it fully correct even though the student didn’t provide (and may not recognize) the differentiating factor. Imagine a student who’s asked at the beginning of Romeo and Juliet how the Capulets and Montagues get along. ‘They don’t like each other,’ the student might say, in an answer that most teachers would, I hope, want some elaboration on before they called it fully correct. ‘Right,’ the teacher might reply. ‘They don’t like each other, and they have been feuding for generations.’ But of course the student hadn’t included the additional detail. That’s the ’rounding up.’ Sometimes the teacher will even give the student credit for the rounding up as if the student said what he did not and what she merely wished he’d said, as in, ‘Right, what Kiley said was that they don’t like each other and have been feuding. Good work, Kiley.’ Either way, the teacher has set a low standard for correctness and explicitly told the class that they can be right even when they are not. Just as important, she has crowded out students’ own thinking, doing cognitive work that students could do themselves (e.g., ‘So, is this a recent thing? A temporary thing? Who can build on Kiley’s answer?’).

“When answers are almost correct, it’s important to tell students that they’re
almost there, that you like what they’ve done so far, that they’re closing in on
the right answer, that they’ve done some good work or made a great start. You
can repeat a student’s answer back to him so he can listen for what’s missing
and further correct – for example, ‘You said the Capulets and the Montagues
didn’t get along.’ Or you can wait or prod or encourage or cajole in other ways
to tell students what still needs doing, ask who can help get the class all the
way there until you get students all the way to a version of right that’s rigorous
enough to be college prep: ‘Kiley, you said the Capulets and the Montagues
didn’t get along. Does that really capture their relationship? Does that sound like what they’d say about each other?’

“In holding out for right, you set the expectation that the questions you ask and their answers truly matter. You show that you believe your students are capable of getting answers as right as students anywhere else. You show the difference between the facile and the scholarly. This faith in the quality of a right answersends a powerful message to your students that will guide them long after they have left your classroom.

“Over the years I’ve witnessed teachers struggle to defend right answers.
In one visit to a fifth-grade classroom, a teacher asked her students to define
peninsula. One student raised his hand and offered this definition: ‘It’s like, where the water indents into the land.’ ‘Right,’ his teacher replied, trying to reinforce participation since so few hands had gone up. Then she added, ‘Well, except that a peninsula is where land indents into water, which is a little different.’ Her reward to the student for his effort was to provide him with misinformation. A peninsula, he heard, is pretty much ‘where the water indents into the land’ but different on some arcane point he need not really recall. Meanwhile, it’s a safe bet that the students with whom he will compete for a seat in college are not learning to conflate bays and peninsulas.”

Author: Doug Lemov
Title: Teach Like a Champion
Publisher: Jossey-Bass, A Wiley Imprint
Date: Copyright 2010 by John Wiley & Sons
Page: 35-37

What is prayer?

• Read up on the topic before the trip–kids learn by example (if dad is into it, they will be….): #1. Killer Angels–this will get you pumped to see Gettysburg.  It is a GREAT read. #2. Battle of Gettysburg at Wikipedia–this is a short clear summary.
• Listen on the way–This is the best audiobook on Gettysburg(you can get it at amazon or download it to your ipod at audiobooks in itunes); The kids could only take this 2 hr book on tape in 15 minute intervals, but it is important for you to get through it before the trip to get the kids pumped about the history.
• Gettysburg Museum–FIRST STOP–we went to the Gettysburg Museum first.  It gave the kids a great summary and got them excited to see the battlegrounds (there may be better museums? This one had a hokey pseudo-disneyland re-inactment, but it was good enough.  Remember to get their free brochure of their audio tour (it has a very simple map of the battles–we did not do the audio tour–it was at least 2 hrs long)
• Touring the battlefields–#1. Union Line–Go to the Pennsylvania monument first (you can climb to the top and get a great overview and at the top they have pointers to show you where everything occurred) #2. Go to little round top–this was a KEY defensive position and holding this hill on day #2 of the battle was key to victory–there are some great plaques that teach about some key people–Strong Vincent etc. #3. Devil’s Den–my kids were into the idea of snipers shooting at the Union line from this key rock formation. #4. Confederate line–we ran low on time so we just went to the very high tower at the center of the confederate line–great view of battlefield.
• Patience–my kids must have asked me at least 2 dozen times: “Now who were the Rebels, who were the guys in blue, who were the Confederates, which side was Robert E. Lee on again….” It was all worth it when my son did a speech on Strong Vincent for school….They really do listen.
• Summary of the battles–Day #1. The push–The confederates AGAIN had a significant victory on the first day which made them too confident for the following days.  Day#2. The flank–Lee decided to go with tactics that worked for him in the past despite very poor positioning.  Meade fell back to excellent defensive position, and Lee couldn’t breakthrough at Meade’s flanks.  Day#3. The charge–The most famous part of the battle(s) is one of the most brutal and some would say courageous or crazy ideas.
• Lessons learned–Pride before the fall–age old adage–Lee’s over confidence appears to be his undoing; superior weapons save lives–The Union had rifles that had superior technology to the Confederates which helped them to fire more rapidly; a powerful military is important–although I am not big on guns etc. studying military history has helped me to understand that a high tech/powerful military is important to keep the peace (I recently heard a commentator say that we need to get out of all these other countries that we are in (save A LOT of money), but maintain our military edge…so if there is a problem, we can keep the peace…); location, location, location–the view from little round top was a powerful reminder that the high ground is always key…

Rob and I were swimmers, and he ALWAYS beat me in the stroke that we both did best (breaststroke).  He may not even remember all those swim meets where he would beat me handily, and he certainly (I hope) doesn’t  know about the emotional pain of never being able to beat his best friend… until maybe later…

Rob was a grade behind me in school so our paths began to separate.  He got into baseball, and I remained in swimming.  In high school, we both chose to play water polo and that meant that we would both be swimming together again.  We were the 2 main breaststrokers on the team so we found ourselves swimming against each other again.  This time, however, I was always in the lead.

I tell this story to my kids periodically.  I want so much for my kids to know that only time will tell the eventual outcomes.  They suffer, much like there dad has, when their friends beat them (and especially if their siblings do).  It is after these defeats that I turn to the “Rob story” in hopes of reminding them that with patience, perseverance, hard work, these circumstances can change.  Todays winners can be tomorrows losers in ANY race that you might find yourself in.

In the movie Minority Report, the main character (Tom Cruse) is being chased while he is helping to rescue a woman who has the power to see the future.  As they are being chased through a busy shopping mall, she is whispering in his ear directions to follow so they won’t be caught.  At one point she quietly chants, “wait for it…” over and over so that the main character will trust her advise and stand still in one place.  The place she advises them to stand is right in the middle of the mall in plain sight of everyone to see.  Unknown to the main character, a man with a large bundle of balloons is going to walk across their path blocking them from view at just the right moment when a group of police chasing them is trying to spot them. 

We don’t know the future.  We must stay on the right course.  If we are gifted and passionate about a sport or a career (for example), patience, perseverance, hard work, and just ‘waiting for it’ may, in time, allow us to finish better than we ever imagined that we could.

Life is filled with trust.  We must trust in God’s plan even when we want to trust in our plan.  We have to trust that our current state of affairs, our current losses, our current struggles, may, in the end, bring wins, success, and maybe even joy especially when we “run with perseverance the race marked out for us [by God].”

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  run in such a way as to get the prize.”-1 Corinthians 9:24 (NIV)

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”-Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)

Example #1: Volunteers were given scrambled sentences and one group was given a group of scrambled sentences that were about rudeness and the other group was given a group of scrambled sentences about being patient.  The group that had just found the words relating to rudeness were much more likely to interrupt the interviewer’s phone conversation.  Very interesting.

Example #2: The other example they did is they had again 2 groups but this time one group got scrambled sentences with words to be found about being old and the other group had random words.  These two groups of participants were then timed from when they left the office, where the testing was done till they reach the elevator and they found that there is a significant slower pace to the group of people that were finding the words that were related to being old elderly.

Example #3: One group was asked to think of a very smart person and then answer trivial pursuit type questions vs. another group that was asked to think of a very stupid person and then answer the same trivial pursuit type questions.  The group thinking of the smart person did better at answering the trivial pursuit questions!

Example #4:  Finally the last example is from the tipping point by Malcolm Gladwell and in this book he discusses a very interesting story regarding the good Samaritan.   Princeton University psychologist met with a group of seminarians people studying to become a pastor’s and they were trying to answer the question who would stop and help a person who is slumped in the alley head down, eyes closed coughing and groaning.  One group was told that they were late to the class that they were going to teach and they are expected in only a few minutes so they better get moving quickly.  The other group were told that they have enough time to get over to the classroom.  What they found was that on several occasions the seminary students going to give their lecture which was actually on the parable of the good Samaritan literally stepped over the mock victim as he hurried on his way.  What they say is of the group that was in a rush 10% stopped to help, but of the group that was not in a rush that had some time to spare 63% stopped and helped.  This study suggests that the convictions of your heart and the actual contents of your thoughts are less important in the end in guiding one’s actions than the immediate context of your behavior.

All of these studies suggest that we as individuals must be very cognizant of the world around us and to influence it in a positive way, to show a good character,  we must be aware of our surroundings and slow down.  Those with truly great character do the right thing no matter if they are late for a meeting nor are they influenced in a negative way by their surroundings.

“Step 1. I analyzed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure.”

“Step 2. After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it, if necessary…After discovering the worst that could possibly happen and reconciling myself to accepting it, if necessary, an extremely important thing happened: I immediately relaxed and felt a sense of peace that I hadn’t experienced in days. ”

“Step 3. From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally.”
“I probably would never have been able to do this if I had kept on worrying, because one of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. However, when we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all those vague imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem.”

“The same idea was expressed by Lin Yutang in his widely read book, The Importance of Living. “True peace of mind,” said this Chinese philosopher, “comes from accepting the worst. Psychologically, I think, it means a release of energy.” That’s it, exactly! Psychologically, it means a new release of energy! When we have accepted the worst, we have nothing more to lose. And that automatically means we have everything to gain!”

“If you have a worry problem, apply the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier by doing these three things: 1. Ask yourself,’ ‘What is the worst that can possibly happen?” 2. Prepare to accept it if you have to. 3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.”