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“But prayer is alive. It is aloud with praise, aglow with warmth, attuned with song, aflame with power. And it is also unsettling in its violence. Not in the violence of its practice, but in the violence of its impact when it is exercised with power.”
— Jack Hayford
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Loading ...God’s Love: The Story of the Prodigal Son
Posted on March 9th, 2010 by uberlumen.
Categories: Apologetics, Bible Study, Evil and Suffering, Love, Men on the Path, Parenting, Sermons, Spiritual Growth, Vital Signs of Healing, marriage.
Mike Erre gives us a special glimpse into what the parable of the prodigal son truly meant to a 1st century audience. It was an incredible picture of God’s outrageous love for us.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Don’t Worry #3: Accept the Worst Case Scenario
Posted on March 4th, 2010 by uberlumen.
Categories: Book Reviews, Evil and Suffering, Parenting, Spiritual Growth.
In this 3rd segment regarding how to stop worrying, I pull some key points from “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie. The 3rd key is simple: Accept the worst case scenario.
“Step 1. I analyzed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure.”
“Step 2. After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it, if necessary…After discovering the worst that could possibly happen and reconciling myself to accepting it, if necessary, an extremely important thing happened: I immediately relaxed and felt a sense of peace that I hadn’t experienced in days. ”
“Step 3. From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally.”
“I probably would never have been able to do this if I had kept on worrying, because one of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. However, when we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all those vague imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem.”
“The same idea was expressed by Lin Yutang in his widely read book, The Importance of Living. “True peace of mind,” said this Chinese philosopher, “comes from accepting the worst. Psychologically, I think, it means a release of energy.” That’s it, exactly! Psychologically, it means a new release of energy! When we have accepted the worst, we have nothing more to lose. And that automatically means we have everything to gain!”
“If you have a worry problem, apply the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier by doing these three things: 1. Ask yourself,’ ‘What is the worst that can possibly happen?” 2. Prepare to accept it if you have to. 3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.”
True Sight
Posted on March 3rd, 2010 by uberlumen.
Categories: Evil and Suffering, Spiritual Growth.
Please enjoy this incredible and inspiring video:
Don’t Worry #2
Posted on February 6th, 2010 by uberlumen.
Categories: Book Reviews, Evil and Suffering, Parenting, Spiritual Growth, Vital Signs of Healing.
As I pointed out in Don’t Worry #1, living in the ‘now here’ is a powerful way to combat worry. In Dale Carnegie’s book: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, his first point is: Live today! Don’t worry/focus on yesterday or tomorrow.
“…twenty-one words from Thomas Carlyle that helped him lead a life free from worry: “Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.”"
“What I urge is that you so learn to control the machinery as to live with ‘day-tight compartments’ as the most certain way to ensure safety on the voyage. Get on the bridge, and see that at least the great bulkheads are in working order. Touch a button and hear, at every level of your life, the iron doors shutting out the Past the dead yesterdays. Touch another and shut off, with a metal curtain, the Future the unborn tomorrows. Then you are safe, safe for today! Shut off the past! Let the dead past bury its dead. Shut out the yesterdays which have lighted fools the way to dusty death. The load of tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, carried today, makes the strongest falter. Shut off the future as tightly as the past. The future is today. There is no tomorrow. The day of man’s salvation is now. Waste of energy, mental distress, nervous worries dog the steps of a man who is anxious about the future. Shut close, then the great fore and aft bulkheads, and prepare to cultivate the habit of life of ‘day-tight compartments.’ ”
“Tomorrow, do thy worst, for I have lived today.”-Roman poet Horace.
“life ‘is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour.’”
“This speech contains twenty-six words that have gone ringing down across the centuries: “Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” (Matthew 6: 34)
Haitian Earthquake Survivors Praise God
Posted on February 1st, 2010 by uberlumen.
Categories: Evil and Suffering, Interviews, Spiritual Growth, Vital Signs of Healing.
A friend and partner of mine just shared this video he took when he was caring for Haitian’s in an orphanage converted to a hospital. The Haitian’s spontaneously errupted into praise songs to God.
Also here is a link to a powerful letter from a surgeon who just returned as part of Samaritan’s Purse…
Haitian Earthquake Survivors from Jim Keany on Vimeo.
Part #4: Burdens, Rest, and Meekness: Matthew and The Pursuit of God
Posted on January 20th, 2010 by uberlumen.
Categories: Bible Study, Book Reviews, Evil and Suffering, Sermon Notes, Spiritual Growth.
Part 4 artificiality
Tozer points out one final source of burden: Artificiality.
“Another source of burden is artificiality. I am sure that most people live in secret fear that some day they will be careless and by chance an enemy or friend will be allowed to peep into their poor empty souls. So they are never relaxed. Bright people are tense and alert in fear that they may be trapped into saying something common or stupid. Traveled people are afraid that they may meet some Marco Polo who is able to describe some remote place where they have never been.This unnatural condition is part of our sad heritage of sin, but in our day it is aggravated by our whole way of life. Advertising is largely based upon this habit of pretense. `Courses’ are offered in this or that field of human learning frankly appealing to the victim’s desire to shine at a party. Books are sold, clothes and cosmetics are peddled, by playing continually upon this desire to appear what we are not.”
Finally to conclude our miniseries, Tozer points out the solution, once again, to our artificiality, pretense, and pride: meekness. Only through meekness will our burdens be lifted and only then can we find rest for our souls.
“Artificiality is one curse that will drop away the moment we kneel at Jesus’ feet and surrender ourselves to His meekness. Then we will not care what people think of us so long as God is pleased. Then what we are will be everything; what we appear will take its place far down the scale of interest for us. Apart from sin we have nothing of which to be ashamed. Only an evil desire to shine makes us want to appear other than we are.The heart of the world is breaking under this load of pride and pretense. There is no release from our burden apart from the meekness of Christ. Good keen reasoning may help slightly, but so strong is this vice that if we push it down one place it will come up somewhere else. To men and women everywhere Jesus says, `Come unto me, and I will give you rest.’ The rest He offers is the rest of meekness, the blessed relief which comes when we accept ourselves for what we are and cease to pretend. It will take some courage at first, but the needed grace will come as we learn that we are sharing this new and easy yoke with the strong Son of God Himself. He calls it `my yoke,’ and He walks at one end while we walk at the other.”
Part #3: Burdens, Rest, and Meekness: Matthew and The Pursuit of God
Posted on January 14th, 2010 by uberlumen.
Categories: Bible Study, Book Reviews, Evil and Suffering, Healing, Sermon Notes, Spiritual Growth, Vital Signs of Healing.
Part 3 Pretense and Little Children
Tozer proceeds to share another of our burdens: Pretense.
“Then also he will get deliverance from the burden of pretense. By this I mean not hypocrisy, but the common human desire to put the best foot forward and hide from the world our real inward poverty. For sin has played many evil tricks upon us, and one has been the infusing into us a false sense of shame. There is hardly a man or woman who dares to be just what he or she is without doctoring up the impression. The fear of being found out gnaws like rodents within their hearts. The man of culture is haunted by the fear that he will some day come upon a man more cultured than himself. The learned man fears to meet a man more learned than he. The rich man sweats under the fear that his clothes or his car or his house will sometime be made to look cheap by comparison with those of another rich man. So-called `society’ runs by a motivation not higher than this, and the poorer classes on their level are little better.”
Tozer then points the solution to our pretense. The way of the child.
“Let no one smile this off. These burdens are real, and little by little they kill the victims of this evil and unnatural way of life. And the psychology created by years of this kind of thing makes true meekness seem as unreal as a dream, as aloof as a star. To all the victims of the gnawing disease Jesus says, `Ye must become as little children.’ For little children do not compare; they receive direct enjoyment from what they have without relating it to something else or someone else. Only as they get older and sin begins to stir within their hearts do jealousy and envy appear. Then they are unable to enjoy what they have if someone else has something larger or better. At that early age does the galling burden come down upon their tender souls, and it never leaves them till Jesus sets them free.”
Part #2: Burdens, Rest, and Meekness: Matthew and The Pursuit of God
Posted on January 12th, 2010 by uberlumen.
Categories: Book Reviews, Evil and Suffering, Healing, Sermon Notes, Spiritual Growth, Uncategorized, Vital Signs of Healing.
Part 2 Pride and Meekness
The first burden that A.W. Tozer discusses in Chapter 9 of The Pursuit of God is PRIDE.
“Let us examine our burden. It is altogether an interior one. It attacks the heart and the mind and reaches the body only from within. First, there is the burden of pride. The labor of self-love is a heavy one indeed. Think for yourself whether much of your sorrow has not arisen from someone speaking slightingly of you. As long as you set yourself up as a little god to which you must be loyal there will be those who will delight to offer affront to your idol. How then can you hope to have inward peace? The heart’s fierce effort to protect itself from every slight, to shield its touchy honor from the bad opinion of friend and enemy, will never let the mind have rest. Continue this fight through the years and the burden will become intolerable. Yet the sons of earth are carrying this burden continually, challenging every word spoken against them, cringing under every criticism, smarting under each fancied slight, tossing sleepless if another is preferred before them.”
Tozer proceeds to point out the link between Jesus wisdom in Matthew 5:5 regarding the meek, and His ability to lighten our burdens (Matthew 11:28-30)
“Such a burden as this is not necessary to bear. Jesus calls us to His rest, and meekness is His method. The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort. He develops toward himself a kindly sense of humor and learns to say, `Oh, so you have been overlooked? They have placed someone else before you? They have whispered that you are pretty small stuff after all? And now you feel hurt because the world is saying about you the very things you have been saying about yourself? Only yesterday you were telling God that you were nothing, a mere worm of the dust. Where is your consistency? Come on, humble yourself, and cease to care what men think.’
The meek man is not a human mouse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. Rather he may be in his moral life as bold as a lion and as strong as Samson; but he has stopped being fooled about himself. He has accepted God’s estimate of his own life. He knows he is as weak and helpless as God has declared him to be, but paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is in the sight of God of more importance than angels. In himself, nothing; in God, everything. That is his motto…As he walks on in meekness he will be happy to let God defend him. The old struggle to defend himself is over. He has found the peace which meekness brings.”
Part #1: Burdens, Rest, and Meekness: Matthew 5 and Chapter 9 of The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer
Posted on January 7th, 2010 by uberlumen.
Categories: Bible Study, Book Reviews, Evil and Suffering, Men on the Path, Sermon Notes, Spiritual Growth, marriage.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Matt.5:5a
I started the New Year resolved to read through the Bible (again). As I read Matthew chapter 5, I was struck (again and again) by its beauty and transforming power. On the same day, I just happen to pick up A.W. Tozer’s book: The Pursuit of God that I have been reading for months and turn to chapter 9 which starts with a discussion of the beginning of Matthew chapter 5–’coincidence’? Unlikely.
Tozer points out that most of what constitutes evil, pain, and suffering in our world comes from you know who….you and me!
“In the world of men we find nothing approaching the virtues of which Jesus spoke in the opening words of the famous Sermon on the Mount. Instead of poverty of spirit we find the rankest kind of pride; instead of mourners we find pleasure seekers; instead of meekness, arrogance; instead of hunger after righteousness we hear men saying, `I am rich and increased with goods and have need of nothing’; instead of mercy we find cruelty; instead of purity of heart, corrupt imaginings; instead of peacemakers we find men quarrelsome and resentful; instead of rejoicing in mistreatment we find them fighting back with every weapon at their command…these are the evils which make life the bitter struggle it is for all of us. All our heartaches and a great many of our physical ills spring directly out of our sins. Pride, arrogance, resentfulness, evil imaginings, malice, greed: these are the sources of more human pain than all the diseases that ever afflicted mortal flesh.”
His words are oxygen to a patient gasping for air. Christ alone knows how to ease our suffering, our pain, our burdens…
“Into a world like this the sound of Jesus’ words comes wonderful and strange, a visitation from above. It is well that He spoke, for no one else could have done it as well; and it is good that we listen. His words are the essence of truth. He is not offering an opinion; Jesus never uttered opinions. He never guessed; He knew, and He knows.”
“`Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’ (Mat 11:28-30) Here we have two things standing in contrast to each other, a burden and a rest. The burden is not a local one, peculiar to those first hearers, but one which is borne by the whole human race. It consists not of political oppression or poverty or hard work. It is far deeper than that. It is felt by the rich as well as the poor for it is something from which wealth and idleness can never deliver us. The burden borne by mankind is a heavy and a crushing thing. The word Jesus used means a load carried or toil borne to the point of exhaustion. Rest is simply release from that burden. It is not something we do, it is what comes to us when we cease to do. His own meekness, that is the rest.”
In coming posts we will examine our burdens…
Who was Wag Dodge?
Posted on December 28th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Evil and Suffering, Spiritual Growth.
In 1949, Wag Dodge lead a team of smoke jumpers to fight the Mann Gulch fire. His leadership or lack thereof has been used in business school classes as an example of how not to lead men.
Wag was a man of few words who was leading a group of men who he had not worked with before. When they were dropped from their plane down into the fire area, he immediately had his dinner. The men were taking pictures of the fire, and Wag’s lack of direction and seemingly carefree attitude seemed to lull the others into complacency.
When the fire took a turn for the worst and came right at them, Wag began to try and lead by directing the men to drop all their tools and to NOT run from the fire–both counter intuitive actions. These actions would only be followed by men who trusted their leader. He then burned a small area around them with a match and told them all to lie down and the fire would pass them by. Needless to say, the others made a run for it and all but 2 of them died. Wag laid down and sure enough the fire went over him. In fact, Wag’s ‘escape fire’ was the first of its kind in modern firefighting history.
So why am I sharing this story? I heard the details of this story by a business professor teaching a course on critical decision making. We, as Christians, are the Wag’s of the world, and as such, we are reminded of 2 important points from Wag’s story:
1. The world and its people are on fire, and they don’t know it until it is too late. Their solution is to panic and run. We have the answer–don’t panic, leave behind all your ’stuff’, surrender, and lie prostrate before Him and TRUST in Him and NO ONE else. If you do this, the fire will pass over you.
2. The world sees Christians as Wag’s; they will only follow us when we are in relationship with them….when we love them and share our lives with them.
Covetousness, Jealousy, Gratitude
Posted on December 15th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Bible Study, Evil and Suffering, Healing, Parenting, Sermons, Spiritual Growth, Vital Signs of Healing, marriage.
Jeff Pries does a beautiful job teaching us in this sermon on covetousness.
- The 10 commandments are for our benefit. God wants us to know as Christians the path that will benefit us.
- Coveting leads to jealousy which is a painful dead end
- Life is unfair sometimes
- Be grateful for what you have
- YOU are enough!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Don’t Worry #1
Posted on December 10th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Evil and Suffering, Healing, Parenting, Spiritual Growth, Vital Signs of Healing, marriage.
My kids are worry warts. They are sometimes paralyzed by what if’s and worry about future school assignments etc. How can we educate and comfort our kids AND ourselves? This is the 1st of (I hope) many posts on the topic of worry.
Chapter 11 of Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning is a life changing concept and chapter. The chapter is titled: The Geography of Nowhere. The concept is simple. If we are NOT NOW HERE then we are NO WHERE! So lesson #1 is to live in the NOW. Don’t worry about the future or the past. Live in the Now Here.
“The music of what is happening,” said great Fionn, “that is the finest music in the world.” …The music of what is happening can be heard only in the present moment, right now, right here. Now/here spells now-here. To be fully present to whoever or whatever is immediately before us is to pitch a tent in the wilderness of Now-here. It is an act of radical trust-trust that God can be encountered at no other time and in no other place in the present moment. Being fully present in the now is perhaps the premier skill of the spiritual life.”-Chapter 11, Ruthless Trust by Manning
FEED the Poor: Oxfam Hunger Banquet
Posted on December 9th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Evil and Suffering, Healing, Spiritual Growth, Vital Signs of Healing.
The Power of Forgiveness: Matthew 18
Posted on December 1st, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Bible Study, Book Reviews, Evil and Suffering, Healing, Men on the Path, Parenting, Sermons, Spiritual Growth, Uncategorized, Vital Signs of Healing, marriage.
I know that I am getting a nudge to post when I am reading a chapter about forgiveness and I also happen to start listening to a podcast on forgiveness. These notes are a summary of a chapter on forgiveness in “You Were Born for This” by Bruce Wilkinson (Chapter 12: The Forgiveness Key), and the podcast is a sermon done by Mike Erre. As always, share your thoughts with us.
Forgiveness is VERY important to God and for us to embrace.
There is only ONE thing that we are called to do in the entire Lord’s Prayer: ”Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors…”-Matthew 6:12
God, as represented by the King in Matthew 18, gets angry with those He has forgiven of an payable debt refuse to forgive others of a very small debt:
“…so My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trepasses…”-Matthew 18:35 (see also Matthew 6:14-15)
What will God do to us if we don’t forgive? He will ‘hand us over to the torturers’ (Matt 18:34). What?! What does this mean?! It means that God turns His people who refuse to forgive others over to the painful consequences of their own unforgiveness until the person, from their heart, forgives others their trespasses (debts). We will torment OURSELVES until we open our hearts and forgive.
3 key points to remember:
- Jesus: “Jesus forgave you. You can choose to forgive others.”
- Justice: “Vengeance belongs to God, not to you or me.”
- Jailer: “You are your own jailer. Your torment won’t end until you forgive. Then it will end immediately. You will be free. And that is what God wants for you.”
2 gifts occur when we forgive:
- “The person who brought injury has been forgiven…”
- “and a person who offended God by not forgiving has also been forgiven…” (see this post for a powerful story about this interchange)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
To Quell or not to Quell your Emotions?
Posted on November 24th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Evil and Suffering, Healing, Men on the Path, Parenting, Sermon Notes, Spiritual Growth, Vital Signs of Healing, marriage.
In reply to the post on emotions, we got a posted comment asking: How to quell your emotions? Here are some thoughts….
To quell or not to quell?
To Quell: YES! Join the crowd of men with distant non-emotive fathers from a family of origin of quellers. This is me. I am a queller. I have been well trained in the art. I even get a small whiff of emotion and I run for cover. The problem: Quelling leads to men (and women) who don’t know what to do with their emotions. We try to stuff them down deep, hide them, pretend they don’t exist, cover them with logic and hard work, but they are there in a very powerful way. We hide them only to realize that they direct so many of our actions. Even worse, the queller is prone to incredible outbursts of emotions often acting shocked, “Where did those come from?!” Under extreme stress emotions boil over into rage and angry explosions.
The queller has been trained in the art of disconnect. We are the superhero’s that are calm powerhouses of intellect and logic within our families of origin that are unraveling by alcohol and dysfunction. Robotic, we move through life seemingly unphased. Our war cry (sorry whisper): “I don’t need people! I don’t need emotional connection!”
When in reality that is what life is ALL about: Connectedness, relationship. Only when I was dropped to my knees by catastrophic circumstances in my own life was I finally forced to lean on my wife and others. And it was extremely painful for me to reach out to others.
Not to Quell:
“…listening to your emotions ushers you into reality and reality is where you meet God”-Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
This is the way of true life: Knowing and embracing the reality of our emotions. The key is to be aware of what I am feeling, being aware of my emotions because otherwise we let our emotions fester and smolder and control us.
How do we listen to our emotions? How do we embrace and welcome our emotions as the window to reality?
We need to learn to get into a rhythm with our emotions. A few ‘tricks’ can be used. The first is called ‘tagging’. Recognize when anger, frustration, and other emotions are starting to boil and ‘tag’ then to discuss and retrieve them at a later time. Develop a pattern or rhythm of checking in with your spouse or close friend to discuss these ‘tagged’ emotions. The other ‘trick’ is to recognize your emotions before they overtake you. Recognize the situations and times when you can start to feel your emotions bubbling over and intervene at that moment. Recognize and analyze why the situation is giving you that emotional response. In time, this approach will allow you to acknowledge your emotions and address them in healthier ways rather than waiting until they sneak up and explode on you and those around you.
Finally, what can I do when my emotions (anger, frustration, etc) start to boil over? Here is the challenge as Teresa Avila said, “…learn to sit in the weeds (of your emotions)…” What is God trying to say to me through this emotion? Why am I feeling this emotion in this situation? What is the emotion saying about me? Emotions are simply a guide. Take a ‘time out’ to listen to God’s whisper, and remember that He is ALWAYS whispering to YOU that He loves and adores and DELIGHTS in YOU!
Poverty, Wealth, Neglect
Posted on November 15th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Evil and Suffering, Sermons, Spiritual Growth.
In this eye opening sermon, Greg Boyd points out that most of us are like the Nazi family in the movie “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas”. We live next door to the concentration camp of poverty, but we are so indebted and deeply set into ‘the system’ that we don’t move to stop it.
Boyd also presents us with incredible data on poverty.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Part 3: Non-Church Goers Giving Records
Posted on November 11th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Apologetics, Evil and Suffering, Sermon Notes, Spiritual Growth.
I heard recently that there was an article in USA Today that pointed out the stats on giving/helping/volunteerism between church goers vs. non-church goers.
As I have posted in the past, one of the most common complaints from non-Christians against Christians is: Those Christians are such hypocrites.
This recent article stated (I have not found the exact numbers but the article was quoted as saying this) that 70% of regular church goers give back their time to help others and that they have INCREASED (by 8%) their volunteerism since the economic downturn to help the poor and needy. On the other hand, only 30% or less of non-church goers give back with their charitable time, and this group has DECREASED (by 8%) their volunteerism since the economic downturn. (please leave comment or email us if you know the exact reference)
Part 2: Atheists claim that they are MORE moral than Christians.
Posted on November 10th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Apologetics, Evil and Suffering.
I agree with the comment posted in Part 1 that these stats need to be taken with a grain of salt, and Christians probably don’t report as openly their bad behaviors. This 3 part series of posts is pointing out that playing the hypocrite card is not entirely fair. A KEY point and pleading would be to not look at the Christian but look at Christ. Don’t let a Christian hypocrite get in the way of your relationship with God.
Here is another very interesting Barna poll. This poll suggests that atheists have different moral values than Christians.
A survey of 1,600 Canadians asked them what were their beliefs about God and what moral values they considered to be “very important.” The results of the survey are shown below:
| Moral Value | Theists | Atheists |
|---|---|---|
| Honesty | 94% | 89% |
| Kindness | 88 | 75 |
| Family life | 88 | 65 |
| Being loved | 86 | 70 |
| Friendship | 85 | 74 |
| Courtesy | 81 | 71 |
| Concern for others | 82 | 63 |
| Forgiveness | 84 | 52 |
| Politeness | 77 | 65 |
| Friendliness | 79 | 66 |
| Patience | 72 | 39 |
| Generosity | 67 | 37 |
Although the differences between theists and atheists in the importance of values such as honesty, politeness, and friendliness are generally small, moral values emphasized by religious beliefs, such as Christianity, including patience, forgiveness, and generosity exhibit major differences in attitudes (30%+ differences between theists and atheists).
What really concerns me is that only half of atheists think that forgiveness is very important. Either these people have not been married or maybe married multiple times, since a lack of forgiveness in a marriage is a sure recipe for disaster. Couple that moral belief with a perception that neither patience nor generosity are very important, and it seems that the divorce rates are likely to go up significantly in the near future.
According to Professor Bibby, Grandma is the “symbolic saintly person in the clan. So valuing Grandma also means valuing many of the things important to her. In successive generations you have a lingering effect of morality. But further down the road generations get further removed from the sources of those values. That’s where it gets tricky.”2
Part 1: Atheists claim that they are MORE moral than Christians.
Posted on November 9th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Apologetics, Evil and Suffering.
Atheists claim that they are more moral than their Christian counterparts? Our first question may be: Yes, but why? But our second question might be: Is this claim true?
A a random sample of 1003 adults were surveyed in May, 2008 by The Barna Group for their participation in a number of negative behaviors within the previous week. The results showed that there were vast differences in the behaviors of evangelicals compared to agnostics/atheists.
| Sin | Evangelicals | Atheists |
|---|---|---|
| Viewing pornography | 12% | 50% |
| Profanity in public | 16 | 60 |
| Gambling | 2 | ?7 |
| Gossiping | 4 | 34 |
| Sex with non-spouse | 3 | ?7 |
| Retaliation | ?7 | 11 |
| Drunkenness | 0.5 | 33 |
| Lying | 1 | ?7 |
| Average | 6 | 29 |
These results show that atheists/agnostics participate in morally questionable behaviors to a much greater degree than evangelical Christians – an average of nearly five times the frequency! The data calls into question the atheists’ claim that moral choices are deterministic and the people do not have the ability to exercise free will. If human behavior were merely a combination of genes and biochemistry, then beliefs would have no effect on moral choices. Obviously, this is a failed hypothesis, since beliefs do influence behavior. Another study, published in 2008, showed that increasing belief in determinism negatively impacted moral behavior (cheating).8
Life Principle #2: Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation
Posted on November 4th, 2009 by uberlumen.
Categories: Book Reviews, Evil and Suffering, Healing, Love, Parenting, Spiritual Growth, Value, Vital Signs of Healing, marriage.
I have been struck by the power of affirmation and appreciation. I have also been struck by the destructive power of criticism.
Recently I tried to encourage someone to always find the good, always look for the opportunity to compliment and appreciate, and never complain or criticize. Their response was, “But if you only knew that person, if you only knew how difficult they can be, and how much criticism they deserve.”
This response misses the point completely! It was only when I dropped the contempt and criticisms did I start to see the gifts in the other person. It is only when you look for the appreciation will the critical spirit in YOU fade away.
It is NOT about the other person; it is about YOU. It is about healing YOUR image of yourself, the world around you, and others.
Our marriages and relationships would truly be transformed if we followed Carnegie’s first 2 principles always leading with this one.
“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people…the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loathe to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise… in my wide association in life, meeting with many and great people in various parts of the world… I have yet to find a person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.”-Charles Schwab
“Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learned from him.”-Emerson
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Carnegie:
- “That is what Schwab did. What do average people do? The exact opposite. If they don’t like to think, they ball out their subordinates; if they do like it, they say nothing. As the old couplet says: “once I did bad and that I heard ever/twice I did good, but that I heard never.”-pg 38
- “I once succumbed to the Fad of fasting and went for six days and nights without eating… I was less hungry at the end of the sixth day than I was at the end of the second. Yet I know, as you know, people who think they had committed a crime if they let their families or employees go for six days without food; but they will let them go for six days, six weeks, and sometimes 60 years without giving them the hearty appreciation that they crave almost as much as they crave food.”-pg 40
- ” When Alfred Lunt, one of the great actors of his time, played the leading role in Reunion in Vienna, he said, “there is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self-esteem.” We nurish the bodies of our children and friends and employees but how seldom do we nurish their self-esteem? We provide them with roast beef and potatoes to build energy, but we neglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years like the music of the morning stars.”-pg 40 one
- “When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95% of our time thinking about ourselves. Now [just imagine], if we [ could] stop thinking about ourselves for awhile and begin to think of the other person’s good points…”-pg 41
- “Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips. You’ll be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.”-pg 42
- “Pamela Dunham of a New Fairfield, Connecticut, had among her responsibilities on her job the supervision of a janitor who was doing a very poor job. The other employees would jeer at him and litter the hallways to show him what a bad job he is doing. It was so bad, productive time was being lost in the shop. Without success, Pam tried various ways to motivate this person. She noticed that occasionally he did a particularly good piece of work. She made a point to praise him for it in front of the other people. Each day the job he did all around got better, and pretty soon he started doing all his work efficiently. Now he does an excellent job and other people give them appreciation and recognition. Honest appreciation got results where criticism and ridicule failed.”-pg 42
- “Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for. There is an old saying that I’ve cut out and pasted on my mirror where I cannot help but see it every day: ‘I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not deferring or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.’”-pg 42
- “Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points.”-pg 43